A few weeks ago, a doubt niggled at the back of my mind. An idea formed.
A few days later, I was on my laptop, researching intently.
A few days ago, I made up my mind.
Yesterday, I gave my manager my notice of resignation.
Wait, wha-? Where did that come from?
What have I done?
Is it not remarkable how some of the bigger decisions in life are the ones most of us end up making on a whim? Although I wouldn’t classify this decision of mine as a “whim”, I cannot say I know what I will be doing for work after my last day at the office at the end of the month… but I also find it exciting not to be able to do so. Many people I know (read: my mother) would berate me for the sheer lack of certainty of future I seem to have signed myself up for, but I do know that the one thing I have definitely signed out of is a future of settling for job security instead of contentment.
If there is one thing my previous career in a 100%-commission industry taught me, it is that we are capable of so much, and that most of our audacious goals can be attainable if we broke them down and went about achieving little milestones gradually.
For example, I set myself the realistic goal of stopping at one serving of food at dinner. My milestone at the moment is two serves. It was, at one time, three. This therefore brings me closer to one day stopping at one! See, already closer to one goal- I got this!
Another example would be how I would love to perfect the Aussie fashion of slang words! Presently, my goal is to start incorporating the word “mate” into sentences- not an awful lot like the abundance of cliches will have you believe, but just a touch, enough to pass as a (classy) Sydney-sider, born and raised. My current milestones include successfully tossing around words such as “arvo” and “deadset”, so I know it’s only a matter of time until “mate” becomes a permanent fixture in my verbal vocabulary… Watch me celebrate every little success, right until I find myself chilling on a tree with a koala!
Not relevant. Sorry, I digress.
There is a lot I don’t know, but if there is one thing I do, it is that I am at an age and place in life where I am starting to feel the need to accomplish something that truly matters to me, which is why I have made the decision to leave my job although it does have some great perks attached to it. We each have our strengths and the arenas where we perform at our best, and that was probably not one of mine.
It’s back to the drawing board for me, and although it will feel like a long reach, I am aware that what I need right now is the clarity of mind to find out what exactly it is I would like to achieve, and the stomach/guts/balls to see it through.
After all, I’ve already had my first nightmare of Mum chastising me for being an indecisive nut. Please let that remain a nightmare, dear god, I do not want to face that horror in real life!